I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

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Little One, life has thrown some curveballs at us recently. I’m not a big fan of change and unpredictability, but with change comes opportunity. The changes we’re making right now might even lead us to you one day, and they will all be for a reason.

Last Friday a terrible storm slammed the entire east coast. It was 600 miles long, spanning across several states. Trees fell, hundreds of thousands lost power, and unfortunately, people died. We are incredibly lucky though, Little One. Even though I was mad that our power was out for three days and that we lost all of our food in the fridge and freezer, we’re still lucky. We were camping over the weekend, and all we heard was the soothing pitter patter of raindrops that fell on our camper roof, lulling us to sleep. Incredibly bad things could have happened to us, but they didn’t. Sometimes the curveballs that are thrown at us are for the better, even if we can’t see it in the moment. 

On Saturday night, the campground pool was open late. They held a pool party with a DJ, and there on top of a mountain your father and I swam. Nothing above our heads but the clear night sky, the stars shined like diamonds. Off on the horizon fireworks went off silently- too far away to hear the noise, but close enough to see the spectacle. Your Dad and I danced, laughed and swam to the sounds of the DJ, the smell of honeysuckle tickling our noses and the summer air blowing through our hair. 

 

And on this perfect summer night, all I could think of was you. 

 

Will you like swimming? Will you be the one dancing to the music or sticking to the side of the pool wall watching? Will you think we’re crazy to be your parents, or will you love our passion for fun? 

Life is so unpredictable, Lo. Right now, you’re so unpredictable. In a way, that is scary for me. I’m a planner by nature. I like to know the whens and wheres of life, and if there are none I like to find them and put them into place. But over the past week, as we’ve been thrown things good and bad, I’m remembering a very important life lesson: it’s all in perspective. Bad things are only bad if you make them that way, sweet baby. A lot of things in life are out of our control, but how we react to them and how we view them in this world is the one thing we do have control over. 

Unfortunately, as an adult, you want to control everything but you just simply can’t. And sometimes no matter how hard you work or how much effort you put forth (especially if you enter the corporate workplace), someone is going to try and trample all over you. Stick up for yourself, don’t let anyone ever hurt you – and take as much control as you can. What you don’t have control over, have faith in. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, have faith that it will all work out in the end, and if it’s not worked out yet, it’s just simply not the end. 

Sometimes, it’s hard to see the success you’ve already met. Success and opportunity are like icebergs: you only see a preview, a portion of what is to come. And when you least expect it, the larger and greater good beneath the surface will emerge. I feel like the changes we’re experiencing now are just the tip of the iceberg, that what lies ahead is far greater than what we can see in the immediate future.

 

We’re still in the waiting to wait phase, but it is quickly coming to an end. We should have the homestudy back in our hands in less than three weeks. I feel like now this time seems to be moving incredibly slow, but that life will move a lot quicker soon and that this time will feel like a blink of an eye in the future. 

 

But now we’re prepared to get our profile up. Last weekend, your Dad and I got pictures taken in the park for our profile. It was lovely, and I love the way they turned out (here is a preview): 

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And my favorite: Image

 

 

I see the tip of the iceberg, sweet baby. Now comes the time to wait for the rest.

 

With delicious ambiguity and lots of love,

 

Love,

Mom 

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One thought on “I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

  1. What a sweet and wonderful letter. Adoption can be a difficult journey. Yesterday I worried that I would be deemed acceptable as a parent by the home study social worker. We have our first face to face meeting with her today.

    I was worrying about all sorts of things, and then God reminded me that He has a plan and He will take care of everything. So I will trust Him and continue on.

    Nice pictures!
    God bless your journey!
    Cary

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