Little One, today is Fathers Day. For some reason, I think it’s hitting me harder than Mothers Day did this year. I think I know the reason (we thought you’d be here by now, and that we’d be celebrating fathers day with you) but the reason doesn’t really matter.What matters today is the man who you’ll one day call your Father.
Today is all about your Dad.
Let me tell you a few key things about your Dad, that you’ll know as you grow up with him but I should point out:
– Your Dad is the sweetest person alive.I know all wives (well, a lot anyway) say their husband is the sweetest, but trust me. your Dad really is the sweetest. At the end of our first date I was cursed with a migraine (they happened a lot when I was in college) and your Dad offered to drive behind my car all the way home to make sure I got home safe. At that time, he lived over 40 miles away from my house, but it didn’t matter to him. It didn’t matter to him that it was our first date, that he had just met me, that I lived far away- he would do anything to make sure I was safe. That night I knew he was the one.
– Your Dad is extremely smart. He always has been. There is an age old tale that your Dads side of the family always brings out when talking about your Dads childhood. He was young (three or four years old) and got in trouble as toddlers do. His punishment was to sit at the top of the stairs for a few minutes, and he whined to his family, “Can I get a reprieve?” What three year old says that? And now as an adult, he will try to explain computer programs or theories to me and I’m at a total loss and will usually make a joke to not look so dumb about whatever it is he’s talking about.
– Your Dad is silly. He’s a joker, a laugher and a prankster. He can put on a silly voice and have full on conversations with me about things that don’t exist, just because we think it’s hysterical.
– Your Dad is romantic. Not in a traditional flowers way (though he does do that too) but what counts more is the little ways in which he shows his love for me. The everyday romantic gestures that mean so much more than big sweeping dates. The little notes left on the door, the whispers that I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. I hope that one day, you either find a man as wonderful as him or become a man as wonderful as him.
– Your Dad is nurturing. He cares about our two dogs as if they are our kids, he cuddles with them and shows his love easily. When I’m sick or feeling down, he’s right there to lend a caring hand and soothes me back to health. Every cell in his body exudes his caring, loving personality.
What does this all equal out to, Little One? It all means this: your Dad is freagin’ amazing. He’s going to be one super Dad to you. Does that mean he won’t make mistakes? Of course not. We both will. I can guarantee that there is going to be a learning curve for us since we’ve never experienced parenting. But I also know that now, in this moment before you’re even here, he’s more of a Dad than most Dads out there. He’s been there every single step of the way, we’ve been in this journey together, one thousand percent. He cleaned the house spotless with me for the home study, he took time off of work to get things done, he talked me to sleep on tough nights when the crying wouldn’t stop. He’s going to be your Dad for the long haul, forever. He’s always going to be there, day or night. You’re going to be so incredibly lucky Little One.
I’m trying to remember how much this fathers day hurts. I know that sounds odd, but it’s in a good way. My hope and prayer is that next year at fathers day, we’ll be holding you, talking cavalierly about last years Fathers Day being the last painful one. I hate putting a timeline on this journey, because each time we have it’s been met with hurt and pain- but I think in order to be hopeful we have to put a time on it. And if next year, we’re still waiting, then we wish and hope again.
You’re out there, sweet baby. It’s just a matter of time.
Until then, I’m wishing your childless Dad a Happy Fathers Day regardless. He’s already one of the best Dads I know.
Waiting for next June,