Little One, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. I’ve realized lately that adoption is the ultimate truth to the old adage that it takes a village to raise a child… only with adoption, it takes a village to find our child.
And boy, Lo. We’ve got quite a village around us.
Over the weekend, we recieved gifts from complete strangers of the following:
It’s a baby bath tub, a co sleeper, a high chair, a changing table pad and a closet organizer. My sister has also put a lot of stuff aside for you from your cousins. Our neighbor is holding on to things for us. There is an entire community cheering us on every step of the way. It’s such a beautiful thing to be thought of and given things from strangers, neighbors, family and friends. We’re so incredibly lucky, Lo.
You’re so incredibly lucky.
I have friends calling to tell me they’ve seen our flyer up at places where we haven’t put it up. Our family, friends and neighbors are working hard to get the word out on our behalf. They are all so involved and caring. They ask how we’re doing, they excitedly inquire about potential nursery decor and offer words of encouragement when we’re having bad days. Strangers happily say congratulations when we tell them the news that we’re trying to adopt. The world has been painted in a much more positive and beautiful light for us since this journey began.
Here is the thing, sweet baby… this whole village isn’t just surrounding us for the here and now. The village surrounds every aspect of adoption. You’re so lucky in that aspect. Most children have two people involved: their Mom and Dad. To make our family, there will be at the very least six people involved just for the match to be made. There will be us, your biological parents and two lawyers. That is not counting the potential counselors, social workers, physicians, nurses, extended family on both our end and your biological families end. There will be an entire team getting you to us: a team Little One. We’re part of the founding members of team Lo, but trust me your team has more members on it than an NFL league.
It will take a village to even get you here, baby.
If you’ve never seen the symbol for adoption, it empitomizes this theory. It’s a triangle intertwined with a heart. It symbolizes the three sides of adoption: the adoptive parents, the biological parents, and the adoptee (that would be you, Lo). They are all intertwined within a heart to show that all three sides are touched with the unwavering love of the adoption, and each other. We’re going to love your biological parents so much, Little One. They are giving us the best gift in the entire world. Hopefully, they’ll love us an incredible amout as well. After all, they are trusting their greatest gift with us, in our hands and our care.
And you will love both sides, and that is perfectly okay. We want you to love both. We want you to realize the sacrifice your biological family made for you, and realize that we’re no better than they are, and vice versa. We’re just pieces to a big family puzzle, Lo. We are people that love and care for you above all else, and we just happened to be in different places in our lives at a certain place in time. That doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about you, and we want you to love and care about them too.
Don’t ever, even for a split second think that you loving them will make us feel threatened. It won’t. And to that point, we’re not the important piece here, we’re not whose feelings matter in this equation. It’s ultimately you who matters most, sweet angel. It’s your feelings, your love to give. We respect and honor that. We realize that your heart has so much room in it, room for more than just us. And that is okay. That is a concious decision we made when we decided to adopt, and why we would like an open adoption. We realize that you have enough love to give to this entire village that brought you here.
Love the village, Lo. Love every entire person in the equation. It will only make you a better, more well rounded person.
I’ve thought a lot lately about how it may seem for you as a child. Will it be normal to be adopted? Will it be special? Will you boast with pride when people ask about your family? If you have a visit with your biological family, will that seem normal to you, or will you wonder why other children don’t have those visits?
No matter how you see it when you’re young, I hope you see that we are making the decisions that we think are the best for you. You might go to school and talk about your Mom and your First Mom, and that may confuse your classmates. But always know that it’s a blessing to have so many people care and love for you, not a curse.
It’s a blessing to have this village. I hope you see it as a blessing too.
I’m sure it will also take a village to raise you. But I’m not worried. Between our supportive family, the beauty of open adoption and the community around us, our village will be nothing but people ready to help you and our family.
We have a full team of “love soldiers” working on our side. When you make your appearance, it’s only going to get better. You’re going to have this love and support forever, as are we- and for that, we’re the luckiest little family in the world, Lo.
The Village Waiting Mother,