Little One, it’s surreal. The visit part of our home-study journey is finally complete. The paper work was long ago turned in. All the appointments, the doctor visits, the faxes… all checked off, completed, finished. Now we wait for the report to be finished (most likely 3-4 weeks) and we’ll finally, officially, in every capacity be paper pregnant.
It’s the closest to being any kind of pregnant we’ve ever been.
The great news is that if we found you tomorrow, we’d be able to place with you because we’re done the paperwork. So the search for officially on. We are officially expecting, and it feels absolutely amazing. After our last visit with the social worker lats night, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders.
It hit me last night how amazing your Dad is going to be as a father. I knew it all along, but listening to his answers during the interview about parenting and what he’s looking forward to made me realize just how incredibly luck you’re going to be to have him in your life. During the interview I was nervous, as I am during every step of the process. It’s nerve-wracking to know how badly you want something and that the power lies in someones hands. But your Dad? He’s a champ. He thought of every answer quickly, honestly and correctly. He remained calm and steadfast.Your Dad is my rock, and I’m his. We’re there for each other, and we’re going to be there for you in the same capacity.
Not every kid has two parents in this world, and if we have an open adoption (which ideally, we would like)then you’re going to have up to four parents who love you and care about you. My God, you’re going to have a beautiful life, Lo. We’re going to make every effort we can to make it as wonderful as possible.
I feel like our dreams are finally coming into a realization. Up until now, it’s been about focus. We had a laundry list of papers to fill out, lawyers to interview, appointments to make and written tasks that we happily drew a line across each week when they were accomplished. Now, that is all done. The legwork is over, and what remains is this large vast expanse. There is no list we can check off now, it’s all about the ways we can be inventive to find you out there. I’m not sure yet if that is going to be more or less difficult then having a list to check off, but either way we’re up for the challenge.
Last night the social worker asked us what we’re most looking forward to doing with our children in the future. I had a complete rush of blood to the head, because there are so many things we’re looking forward to. Where other parents might complain about diapers, late night crying sessions and spit-up, we’re pumped. We can’t wait. We can’t wait to take cheesy pictures on your first day of school. We can’t wait to chaperone your school field trips, and help with school projects. We’re excited to take you on camping trips, vacations and new adventures. We’re anxiously awaiting quiet nights at home where we help you do homework and the routine that comes with it all. We can’t wait to teach you how to drive (though I can totally wait to hand the keys over, because that seems terrifying). We can’t wait to see you graduate high school and college. We can’t wait to see you get married (if thats what you choose) or see you get your doctorate, or see you have children, or not have children. We can’t wait to see the life you create for yourself with our support and love as the pillars holding it steady. No matter what your life holds, Lo, you’re going to set the world on fire.
People have a lot of dreams and ambitions, and they are different for everyone. Some people dream of big houses, others fantasize about burgeoning careers or trips around the world. But what your Dad and I dream about is more simple. We dream about having a family.
We dream about you, sweet Little One.
And I know our dreams are going to come true. When they do, then our focus will shift again and it will become all about making your dreams come true. That is our job as parents, to be there for you and support you every step of the way. We’ll be your biggest cheerleaders in this world, Lo. Dreams are such an important gift. They are what gives us drive, that hunger to wake up in the morning and take the day on with ferocity. We want to always add fuel to your dreams, as you’ve already done to ours. Anything we can do as your parents to give you the courage to dream and the bravery to act on those dreams, I promise you we’ll accomplish.
Now the real part begins. From here on out, it’s all about the search. You’re out there baby. You might already be on this planet in some capacity. Maybe not. It’s not for us to know right now, but for us to find out. We’re done with the ground work, and now we can begin the brick and mortar. We’re build our dreams, one step at a time.
Living the Dream,