Little One, let me tell you about the day I knew there was still hope to find you out there. It’s going to sound a little weird, but it’s also the day we found out the expectant mom due in June has decided to parent.
That day is today.
I know it sounds odd, Lo, that we have found hope today. But we did. It is such a weird feeling that few would understand. We’re happy for that Mom. She gets the greatest joy in the world, the chance to parent. We actually feel blessed that we could be a part of that decision- that we could be a blip in her journey to decide how to make her family, because whether she knows it or not, she’s given the same gift to us.
That baby that we’ll likely never meet was a catalyst, a link, a tiny butterfly. They helped us learn that we wanted to, and could adopt right now. They are an important key in the journey to getting to you. And we’ve known all along it was a long shot (with adoption, it always is) but we protected ourselves and prepared for today. I’m not going to say my heart didn’t sink, because it did. I think that is a natural reaction. But after a deep breath, it rose back up and hope filled my heart once again.
I went outside to call your Dad and let him know we got word, and that it was a no. He was quite the same as I, sad, but happy at the same time. This is what was supposed to happen. This is how the pieces were meant to fall, and even though it may be hard to realize that now- it will all make sense one day. I’m a firm believer, in case you haven’t been able to tell, that everything happens for a reason. Nothing in this life is random. There was a reason we knew about that baby, and it was to get to you. Now we’re ready. Our website is up and running, our facebook page is active, our homestudy almost complete.
After hanging up the phone from RB, I stood alone in the courtyard at work. The gravel covering the ground is made of thousands of rocks, big, small, all different colors. My eyes glanced over the entire courtyard, and to my surprise there was one tiny shining penny, all alone. I picked it up and put it in my pocket.
You’re out there, Lo. Somewhere.
When I lifted my head and looked up at the sky, the gray skies parted and the sun shined right through them.
Our time is coming.
With unwavering hope,