Perhaps all pleasure is only relief…

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Little One, at around 8 PM on Thursday the elephant that’s been sitting on my chest for the past three months got up and sauntered out of the room.

It was glorious.

Our first home study appointment went wonderfully. Our social worker is extremely nice, helpful, insightful and very approachable (and she likes pinterest! She asked if one of my home decorating ideas was a pinterest idea! Brownie points for sure.). She said our house was lovely, had no problems with our pets, was impressed by the fact that we’ve already baby proofed and that all of our cleaners/medicines are put up and locked and that we have more than enough smoke detectors. It felt non intrusive, and more like a natural conversation. When she left, we took the biggest sight of relief of our lives. Relief is one of the best feelings in the entire world.

Now we get down to the nitty gritty. We have to submit all of our paperwork before going on to the next three visits, so we’re getting down to the wire now. Lots of things to schedule, appointments to make and papers to fill out. But we’re getting there, closer and closer one step at a time.

Last night someone that lives less than thirty miles away from us won the mega millions lottery. In one night they gained six hundred and forty million dollars. I cannot even picture that much money. But I hope, even though I know its crazy, that luck is like radiation: maybe that person had so much luck there is a thirty mile radius of good luck surrounding them. If someone one county away could hit a lottery that is more than a one in a million chance, that over forty four states were participating in, that was, in all ways, a shot in hell: then we have a chance. We have hope to adopt. Because one day, we’ll hit the lottery in our own way. One day, we’ll have you.

Until then, we’re working as hard as our bodies will allow us to get the parts we can control finished.

Holding my lottery ticket close to my heart with love,

Mom

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